TALES OF COWS AND CORPORATION
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows
You give 1 cow for your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and give
you 2 cans of milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and sell
the milk to you.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows
The state take over both cows and shot
you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows ,
The state take over both cows, shot
one, get the milk from the other and
throw it away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 female cows
you sell one and buy one male cow, the
number of your cattle grows, and the
economy grows.
NEOLIBERALISM
You have 2 cows
you breed them in the third world countries for a tax evasion
SURREALISM
You have 2 cows
The government asked you to take
harmonica course.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You sell one, and force the other one
to produce milk as much as 4 cows.
Then, you hire a consultant to analyze
why the cow died.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have 2 cows .
You minced them both.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You go in the street, gather the mass,
blockade the street, because you want
3 cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You redesigned them so they can
produce 20 times as much milk. The you
create a cartoon profile of smart
cow named "Cowkimon" and sell it to
the world.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You redesigned them so they can live
for more than 100 years, eat only once
a month, and they can milk each others.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows, but you don't know
where they are.
So you decide to go out for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You count them and dream what if you
have 5 cows . You count them again and
dream what if you have 42 cows . You
count them again and realized that you
only have 2 cows. You stop counting
and open a bottle of Vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them are
yours.
Then you charge administrative fee to
the owners for keeping there.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
You have 300 pepole to milk those
cows. You state that there is no
unemployment, and the milk production
value is high. You arrest reporters
who report the truth.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You worship them.
BRITISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are mad cows.
IRAQ CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have many cows
You tell them you don't have them. No
one believes you, so they bomb and
invade your country. You still have no
cows, at least now you are part of
democracy.
NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
The left cow seems quite attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows .
The business seems good. You close the
office and find beer to celebrate it.
INDONESIAN CORPORATION (1)
You have 2 cows
Both are stolen. Then you sell them
both. Then you keep the money in hazy
non budgeter account. You use some to
fund your party campaign. But mostly
you keep for your family and
relatives.
INDONESIAN CORPORATION (2)
You have 2 stolen cows
Take a bank loan of 4 cows, then sell the 4 cows,
and put the 2 cows under
your childrens name.
Tell the bank that you can not pay them, unless they
finance you a milk
factory.
Take the money and go to Singapore ....
MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
Both are stolen from Indonesia.
SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have no cows
But yet you are famous as a cow exporter
What are you lookin' at buddy??
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